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Sapphire: Woo! Now we go from the worst division to the best division: Valmion Division!

Jewell: Why is it the best?

Sapphire: Duh! Because I'm still fighting in it after I kicked Leviathan's butt the other night to move on to Round 2. By the way, did you all hear about this guy? He was super cute! Long hair. Killer stare (but not so killer moves, clearly!). Kind of has a water mage thing going for him. Annnnd he lives in a watch.

Jewell: A watch?

Sapphire: Yep! So at least he's always on time [ba-dum-dum sound effect]

Jewell: You're really lame.

Sapphire: Ahem! So, since I won and I'm awesome, I move on as a number eight seed to face the lovely Ellisa Morgan who is a number one seed this year.

Jewell: Pretty sure Ellisa won Madness last year, didn't she?

Sapphire: Yeah so? A whole year has passed.

Jewell: And she's been Overlord.

Sapphire: Are you saying you don't think I can win this fight?

Jewell: [gasp!] I would never say that, but I'm not so sure you're going to win.

Sapphire: Whatever. I have confidence in myself that I can win this one! If anyone else has their doubts, they should stop by the Annex on Sunday night at 9:00pm to see me kick the former Overlady's butt.

Jewell: Thems fighting words!

Sapphire: You know it ["fight fight fight!" sound clip].

Jewell: Next on this list is Anubis Karos, a number five seed, versus the ever-delicious Salvador Delahada, seeded at number four. Nice job Sal!

Sapphire: I don't know about delicious. More like murderous [horror movie sound effect]

Jewell: Kind of similar.

Sapphire: Only not at all.

Jewell: Either way, Sal's had a pretty solid year in sword fighting annnnd he's super hott. He also apologized for not bringing me flowers when I was in the hospital last month [awwww sound effect]

Sapphire: Awww so sweet! But you know, Uncle Nubi is pretty vicious.

Jewell: It's so weird that you call him that ["creeeeeeepy" sound clip]

Sapphire: I blame you, or at least the other you, for sending me to stay with Auntie Tara and Uncle Nubi for a summer instead of going to the Cooking Summer Camp I wanted to attend. The things I learned that year...

Jewell: Stop stop stop! I don't even want to know.

Sapphire: You're probably right. You don't.

Jewell: So the duel?

Sapphire: Let's take opposite sides. I'm going with Uncle Nubi. You can do it! Beat the angsty Salvador.

Jewell: Sounds good. I'm going with a Sal win.

What about this fight? It's Kheld, ranked at number six this year, versus one of my personal favorites, Napoleon! So excited Nappy is going to be fighting! [cheering sound effect]

Sapphire: Even though Napoleon hasn't been around much, he still got a number three seed this year. I think I'm going to have to go with Kheld though.

Jewell: Nappy is my favorite to win this one, but I haven't fully discounted Kheld at all. He let me knock some rust off him on Monday night. That guy is solid!

Sapphire: And nice.

Jewell: Oh yeah, totally super nice.

Sapphire: I've got your back Kheld! Prove her wrong and win!

Jewell: That'll be fine! I won't even be disappointed at all if he does even if I think Nappy is going to probably squeak by with the win. You get it? Squeak by?

Sapphire: Uhuh. You're hilarious. So that wraps up our predictions for Valmion Division! Just one more division to go and we're--

Jewell: You forgot the last match.

Sapphire: No I didn't.

Jewell: You totally did. There's one more match for the Valmion Division.

Sapphire: Oh, I know there's one more match. I just didn't forget about it. I don't feel the need to say anything about it at all, actually.

Jewell: Sapphire...

Sapphire: FINE! The last match in Valmion Division is between Sylus Kurgen, lucky number seven, and some guy ranked number two who is a total shady jerk and also super tall. May the blessing of the fae go with you Sylus! Be careful he doesn't shank you in the heart. Am I right?

Jewell: [silence]

Sapphire: What?

Jewell: [quietly] I can't believe you just said that live on air [something clatters to the floor] That's really not funny. [shuffling] I'm done with this [EXPLETIVE DELETED] show. [the door slams shut]

Sapphire: Huh. I thought it was funny, and it's a good warning too. I mean like, seriously... Sylus should really watch out that he doesn't get stabbed in the heart. It's a total killer move.

[sighs] Now I better go see if I can get her back in here to finish these predictions.

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