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Hydra Cup Season 1 Results: N/A

Projected Best Shot for Hydra Cup Season 1 MVP: N/A
Hydra Cup Season 1 Team MVP: N/A

Projected Hydra Cup Season 2 Team Placement: 4th
Best Shot for Season 2 Team & Overall MVP: Rakeesh Sah Tarna

Roster Additions: N/A
Roster Purges: N/A

Little Lion Man, as the Wrecking Crew likes to call him, has re-formed the Champions of Mythos. Goodie goodie gumdrops. Anybody written epic poems or lengthy ballads about this team yet? The answer's no. Why? Because they've never done anything close to deserving it. By the way, all those pictures in CoM's little zoological Arena skybox showing CoM duelers looking like they're winning? Don't be fooled.

Here's a little breakdown of CoM's team "accomplishments".

TDL Season 522, 523, 525 = Rubbish.
TDL Season 524 = Finals Loss (31.5-37).
IFL Season 1 = Playoffs. Eliminated Round 1 (17-26).
IFL Season 2 = Finals Loss, Swept (11-34).
DoS 2011 Team Tournament = Didn't bother showing up.
Hydra Season 1 = Didn't bother showing up.

So much for mythos.

Having never quite recovered from that IFL Season 2 Finals loss (in a match sweep no less) to the Badside Brawlers and despite its lengthy history of laying stinker after stinker, CoM's managed to convince a bevy of duelers to join its ranks in recent weeks. Maybe Rakeesh individualized the RROT (Rakeesh Reign of Terror) and coerced these poor folk into signing up. Unless willingly joining the losers is the "in" thing to do these days, there's no other reason for this many people to volunteer to serve under the linotaur. Either way, I've just got one thing to say: All 11 of you on the CoM roster, get ready for a litany of disappointment - your team's got the knack for choking when the pressure's on. Fair warning.

Rakeesh Sah Tarna (DoF: 18 WoL, Opal; DoM: -1 WoL; DoS: 44 WoL) -- Anyone pining for the days of yore (i.e. just a few months ago) when the RROT gripped Rhydin, when Rakeesh basically wanted all magically inclined citizens to wear a Scarlet Letter, when he brought severed heads to Governor's Council Meetings, when he held a summit on Overlord's Isle only to be publically humiliated by Captain Futility? No? Me either. Though that whole Captain Futility incident was comedy at its best. Imagine the linotaur standing there with mandible agape, upstaged by El Capitan. Pure genius comedy.

Though he's managed to break Candy Hart's heart and grab hold of FireStar, the linotaur's not done much in the rings since he lost his seat as Overlord. The team he's assembled isn't the worst but it's far from the best. So, linotaur, I hereby redub thy team as: CoM - Champions of Mediocrity! Sally forth and hold your banners high! Huzzah!

Joku Shoyia (DoF: N/A; DoM: N/A; DoS: 26 WoL) -- Reason #1 while CoM will wallow in the middle of the Hydra standings? Joku Shoyia. Oh, sure, Joku'll get his points in the Arena but will suffer mightily in the Outback and on the Isle. This Knight of Rhonabwy needs to spend less time molding his pointy chin-hair into the perfect stalactite and more time expanding his dueling horizons. Unfortunately for him, Hydra's not the prime time or place to do that. This poor guy can't even take charge of mediocrity and he's little more than Rakeesh's flunky. Joku's the Assistant Captain of Mediocrity...translation: Joku's mediocre at being mediocre. Makes me want to rush out and find me a knighthood!

Aenlyn Hollow (DoF: 2 WoL; DoM: N/A; DoS: 10 WoL) -- Anyone else remember the best. duel. ever.? Iron Fists League Season 2 Finals. Badside Brawlers vs. Champions of Mythos. Tree Girl vs. Bearded She Dwarf in the Crutch bout. Ok, so it wasn't the best duel ever. I still have nightmares about that particular freak show. Anyhow, it's many years later and the tree-girl's still dueling, though her career WoL's not overly impressive. I'm not sure what Rakeesh wants her to contribute to the team aside from a few duels and maybe a rankup or two. The linotaur's methods are shrouded in mystery.

Rand al'Tan (DoF: 1 WoL; DoM: 16 WoL; DoS: 27 WoL, Overlord) -- In another twenty-four hours or so, Rand may or may not still be Overlord. Britissa may or may not become Overlord. Speaking of which, Britissa, I'm still waiting for our pub date!

A botched challenge on the Isle against Captain Futility (seriously people, it's Captain Freaking Futility. It's befuddling how many people constantly bugger challenge issuances against this guy!) was a pre-Hydra gaffe and could affect the competition given that Rand didn't win and thus can't defend the Tower. Rand needs to hope he defends the Overlord's Mantle so he can intercede like crazy on all the upcoming challenges against his Loyal Barons. If he loses to Britissa and gives away all those potential points, CoM's in a world of hurt.

Napoleon Bonarat (DoF: 1 WoL; DoM: N/A; DoS: -1 WoL) -- Two four six eight who do we appreciate?! Napo. . .oh, wait. The mutant rat got kicked off the Hydra roster before the tournament even started. CoM's popularity probably took a huge hit as a result but their chances of maintaining mediocity jumped way up. Sorry, ratman. Better luck next year.

Shadow (DoF: 4 WoL; DoM: 34 WoL, Archmage; DoS: 83 WoL) -- Shadow replaces the pieRAT resulting in the net gain of 121 WoL and an Archmage title for CoM. Shadow didn't get into the Opening Night Barony sweepstakes but might take his shot in the next few weeks once some of the challenge results come in. Likely, Shadow'll net the bulk of his points on the Isle since he's Archmage but if he can make waves in the Arena, he might prove to be CoM's best overall chance to keep mediocrity alive.

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