Reprints of DoS/Dueling Today
First |
Prev |
Next |
Last
First | Prev | Next | Last
::On the cover this week: A large photo of Xenograg stepping to the side of Max's lateral parry,
arms already raised in victory as he defeated MadMadMax for the Overlord title. Over this reads:
DOS TODAY::
::With the magazine is a package of slightly smooshed piece of cake from the DoSToday fun a-
plenty anniversary bash::
DoS TODAY Volume 2, Issue 9
Contents:
Editorial page 2
Advert for The White Rose page 3
Letters to the Editor page 4
Advert for Marx's Souvenir Stand page 5
Ask Dr. Stupid page 6
Report on Duel of Fists page 7
Advert for Gloin's Weapon O-Rama page 8
Advert for Arelia's Trinkets page 8
Plain and Fancies page 9
Advert for Falire's Chimney Service page 11
Simini's Swords page 12
Advert for the Bootery page 14
Photo Spread page 15
Xenograg's Ascension page 17
Late-breaking News page 19
Staff: Oscar Madison, Editor in chief (DoSEditor)
Broadway Dan, Associate Editor (BrdwayDan)
Hedda Hat, Columnist (HeddaHat)
Simini, Columnist (Simini x)
Dr. Stupid, Advice Columnist (DrStupidMD)
Jake Thrash, DoF correspondent (JakeThrash)
* * *
page 2
Editorial Matters:
Well there are a couple of things on the Editor's plate to discuss this time, so there isn't an
official editorial wherein I spout my half-baked ideas. I know... I know... you're all really
disappointed... but next time, definite.
First of all I apologize to Ecore008 for not giving him credit in the last issue for his idea about
taking the "non-duelist" Warlords out of the picture in the ranks. For the record, I said "It has
been suggested" rather than giving out Ecore's name. I am sorry to have slighted him in this way.
As the rules have been changed since that time, it is a moot point anyway.
Secondly, there was a title to last time's editorial that no one was able to identify! I thought after
the Music Man one, everyone was hot on the idea of trivia, but I suppose this one was just too
tricky for all you trivia maniacs. Or maybe it was just the cheapness of the prize. I knew we
should have offered one of Max's left over Cadillacs. For the record, the title of the column was:
"Make Room, Make Room"
It was the title of a novel by Harry Harrison
and it was made into a movie entitled "Soylent Green" starring Charlton Heston and Edward G.
Robinson.
Thirdly, there are several movements out to start sparring practice on the week nights.
Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays 8-11 EST are covered by a team gathered together by
GldenSword (aka Alkron) and our very own Simini. I dropped by on Monday night while the
capable Merilsa was calling, but no one was there. She reported that there had been a couple of
duels but that a few dice rollers had come in and ruined it for everyone. A guide was called to the
scene by the also very capable Amaltea, and Merilsa reports that calmed the place right down.
Unfortunately it was so calm all the duelers were gone. Remember folks, united we stand, divided
we fall and all that rot. If you like to get in extra practice come on out and give it a whirl. These
duels are fanciless and do not count against your record in the standings. So it's a great
opportunity for folks to come on out and try a new style or a new opponent.
The callers:
***************
Mondays:
Merilsa - Every other week.
Mistearia - Every other week.
Wednesdays:
Grimjk - Every week.
GldenSword - Every other week.
Thursdays:
VaImion - Every other week.
Midnytblue/MerissaAnn - Every other week.
PhlagX - Every other week.
*************
But duelers! That's not all. On Tuesdays from 8-11 EST, Baphelocts has opened his Lathadocia
Challenge. The rules regarding fancies and the set up are a little different than the previous, and
this editor suggests going to DOS folder and reading them as they are just a little too extensive to
reprint here. However, it does look well organized and while this editor wasn't able to drop by to
take a look at it, Baphelocts does report that all went well at his Challenge.
Whichever practice you take in, always remember that these folks are volunteering their time to
providing you with entertainment, mostly just because they love the sport and want to see it
flourish. Manners should be first and foremost on your minds. GldenSword, Simini and
Baphelocts deserve a great amount of patience and respect from us all, as this is not an easy task.
So as you go out there and have a good time, remember to be courteous.
But then that's just my opinion....
* * *
page 3
<<<<------------------------------------------>>>>
THE WHITE ROSE
Catering and other hands on activities.
Centrally located in DownTown Rhydin
between the Red Dragon Inn and the
StarsEnd Bar and Grill.
Walk-ins welcome, appointments appreciated.
---/--\-%{@ Bria Thorne, owner and proprietress
<<<<--------------------------------------------->>>>
* * *
page 4
There are no letters this time, but here is that article on ties by Roustam I was talking about last
time, reprinted with his permission:
The Tie
by Warlord Roustam
((:: still fuming a bit over a draw result in a duel with Binzo, for which btw, Binz made an
incredible comeback::))
:: Roust sits down at his desk and pulls out a manuscript that he hopes to one day publish , "The
World According to Roust". Begins making yet another entry.....::
"A Draw. Now my friends, just what is a draw? A Draw is like taking your least favorite sister
(you know, the one who reminds you of Nellie Oleson on her good days and is not half as good
looking) on a date to a Drive in Theater (see Glossary for definition: " Drive in Theater"). It costs
too damn much to get in. Your going to see a lousy movie. The popcorn is gonna be yesterdays,
maybe, and your soda has no fizz. But hey, that's ok. It'll all be worth it by the end of the night
because you're on a date here at the Drive in Theater. So you begin to make your smoothest move
toward your date when........Yes, you, to your HORROR, remember that it is your least favorite
sister sitting on the passenger side of the car doing her best Jabba the Hut, albeit a few pounds
lighter, impersonation! No joy*. At this point you wonder to your self: Self, why did I bother?
Friends, that is what a draw really is! "
*Note that in some backcountry parts of our great nation a draw is as good as a win (can you say
"Deliverance"? Sure you can.)
:: putting his manuscripts away feeling a little better about things. Gets up and walks away from
his desk glad he doesn't have a sister and that he doesn't live in one of those "backcountry"
places::
:: grins::
And here is a poem submitted by ThGreyBard, Thomen Nettoyanik
Listen to the tale I spin
Of a cold and hardened day
When men of worth lost their mirth
And drew their blades, "To the Fray!"
They knew not their lord master,
But prayed their swords were faster.
They fought, they bled, and they died
All for one ruler's foolish pride.
So many died that day, good men,
Too many died that day, for what?
A power-hungry lord, who then
Sought more blades and blood to be bought.
So be wary, all you warriors,
Of who your true master be.
Do not let greed take your soul
High though that price may be.
Make sure that it is Honor
Which drives your blade...
For it is Honor of which
All heroes are made.
* * *
page 5
For the latest in Dueling memorabilia stop by Marx's Dueling Souvenir Stand.
Some of the goods to be had all featuring the duelist of your choice:
Xenograg memorabilia of every description
Pennants
Buttons and pins
Refrigerator magnets
salt and pepper shakers
Postcards
Potholders
Pogs and Slammers!
Bobbinghead Dolls
Melted Chocolate!
ArchMage Ties featuring Connor McLeod
And Dark Axe genuine faux Diamonds to celebrate his rank
The Stand can be found on the message boards in the folder "Dreamweavers Lair" under
"Souvenir Stand"
* * *
page 6
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ask Dr. Stupid!
-DoS Today's advice column-
Dear Dr. Stupid,
Why is it that when you are really tired, you seem to duel better in the Duel of Swords?
-Yawning in Yonkers
Dear Yawn,
It's actually due to a space-time reversal field concentrating around the basement. Whenever one
enters the room, the field switches time backwards. This means that as soon as you enter, either
you'll feel tired if you've just gotten up, or you'll feel awake if you've been up for a while.
Or maybe Kairee is putting something in the ale...
-Dr. Stupid
Dear Dr. Stupid,
I think your reply to 'Thirsty' was silly.
-Commenting
Dear Commenting,
Thanks, I think.
-Dr. Stupid
Dear Dr. Stupid,
Why is it that when I was in the Inn last night, a fireball suddenly burst through the wall and hit a
table?
-Torched
Dear Torched,
That was a mage bolt from the Duel of Magic... It went off target, and hit one of the transporter
wards. It still would have been safe, but the Inn's protection field was down for repairs after the
recent barbarian attack.
-Dr. Stupid
(Send questions, comments, problems, and money to Dr. Stupid, at DrStupidMD. Have fun
dueling!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* * *
page 7
THE DUEL OF FISTS
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
News from the Outback...
It's been an eventful couple of weeks. Had more new-comers and some surprises in the duelling
that made for some interesting nights.
Welcome to new-comers: LittleJohn, Lord Denzu, MorganCrow, MSteven636, Slees10717,
Steel 20, Trethar and Zamroth.
Congratulations to the movers among the ranks: Old-timer Ryleigh made Jade Rank,
Recent-comer Lord Hrvst made Ruby, and Old-timer Dallara made Sapphire with New-comer
Percival!
Jake's Favorite Match of the Week: Calalyn vs Slees10717
Calalyn vs Slees10717
---------------------------------------
SnapKick Dodge <--- Adv. to Slees
SpinKick LegSweep <--- Point to Slees - 1-0 Slees
Chop ArmBlock <--- Adv. to Slees
LegSweep SnapKick <--- Point to Cala - 1 all
Jab JumpKick <--- Point to Cala - 2-1 Cala
SpinKick Chop <--- Point to Slees - 2 all
Flip SnapKick <--- Adv. to Cala
JumpKick LegSweep <--- no score
SnapKick SpinKick <--- Point to Cala - 3-2 Cala
Hook LegSweep <--- Point to Slees - 3 all
LegSweep Jab <--- Point to Slees - 4-3 Slees
SpinKick ArmBlock <--- Point to Cala - 4 all
Chop LegSweep <--- Point and Win to Slees - 5-4
In a match that seemed to try everything, Slees and Cala went at it tooth and nail. Well fought
you two!
Jake said it before, and is pleased to note that Percy is indeed one to keep an eye on. In addition
to his meteoric leap to Sapphire Rank, he also managed to beat Siera Red 5-0 in a 6 round match
on 11 March 95. Jake gives his "Brute of the Week" award to Percy with great enthusiasm.
Maybe Percy should be giving lessons? (Either that or we need to check his gloves to see what
he's hiding in them ;> )
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Report from the Outback for the Weekend of 3/17 and 3/18
Not as many new-comers this weekend, but they are all still welcomed to the Duel of Fists! :)
Hope NCC2014, DragonHalk and Cpt Jago had fun and will come again!
One final note, Jake is off on some sort of orcish pilgrimage for the next few weeks. He hopes
everyone will wander in and show their support to RDI Panthr while he is away! :)
* * *
page 8
::a small ad appears on the next page::
Gloin's Weapon-O-rama
Servicing the greater RhyDIn area for over 146 years
Sharpening and Cleaning Service
New and Used Weapons Sales
Consignments Negotiable
No job too small
Specializing in Swords and Axes
Ask about our exclusive "Tempered Mithril" coating process
"Shop conveniently located 3 doors south of the Red Dragon Inn"
=======================================================
::white roses with red spots circle the ad::
@ @ @ @
ARELIA'S TRINKETS
for all your dueling needs...
If she can't make it, it can't be made.
Exclusive supplier of Potion's Miracle Salve
Now Featuring: Special Xenograg gift certificates to Amaltea's favorite part of the store... the
infamous "Vault" and we're not talking a place to store money here people.
The shop is located conveniently next door to the Red Dragon Inn and the dueling basement.
((Message boards --> From the Dragon's Mouth --> Arelia's Trinkets))
@ @ @ @
* * *
page 9
PLAIN AND FANCIES
by Hedda Hat
************************************************************************
I'll make thee glorious by my pen,
And famous by my sword
James Graham, 1612-1650
************************************************************************
It's been a time of romance and roguery, of charm and chicanery, of duels and dazzle. Let's start
with the startling wedding of our own BrdwayDan. This wedding was a surprise to this reporter -
she had to get the details from her minions in attendance at the event. What's the story, Dan?
Got something against your co-worker making a living?
Anyway, one night in Star's End, an unusual wedding was performed for the unusual pair of
Brdway Dan and Spirit 1st. Conducting the ceremony was the estimable and inimitable RDI
Marx. Believe me, you've never heard the marriage vows read in just such a manner. Let me
share a few highlights with you:
Marx married the fortunate couple, "Until death, puntth, or Termth of Thervithe
canthellationth do part" and interrupted the solemn ceremony to address the weeping Mad Mad
Max with "Makth, what'th the matter? Ith there a freekin' cat in here?" Later, he offered the
bride and groom a "latht chanthe to back out."
Max, caterer for the occasion, pointed out that the rings looked like tiny padlocks and leg irons,
then threw a full bag of rice at Dan at the conclusion of the ceremony. Later, he discovered that
one is supposed to throw the individual grains of rice, not a whole bag. Well, no one ever
accused Max of being up on the finer details of etiquette. I certainly wish Dan and Spirit a long
and happy Rhydin marriage, even if they didn't invite me to the wedding. Best of everything to
both of you from your friends at DoSToday!
One marriage which has stood the test of time is that of Xenograg and Amaltea. The current and
former Overlords have been married for just over a year (I believe it was March 9th of last year -
before my arrival in this hallowed land). This must be a record for longevity! In a remarkably
romantic celebration of their first anniversary, Xeno and Amal welcomed friends to the Inn and
later, to the Great Hall. At the Great Hall, Xeno surprised the small gathering by going onto his
knees to Amal and proposing they get married again...this time in the Barsi style of Amal's native
traditions. I *do* hope I'll be invited to this one! (What does one wear to a Barsi wedding?)
Congratulations to this devoted couple who prove Rhydin marriage can be exciting and fun even
after the wedding is over.
Glancing over to Duel of Magic-land, I note that WizSlinger has avoided competing for several
weeks. Perhaps he is avoiding meeting MikeXXVII in the challenge match he himself demanded?
And speaking of DoM, isn't that handsome Dark Axe something? He's a Baron in DoS, a
Diamond in DoF, and a Sorcerer in DoM. A triple threat! And I haven't even mentioned his skills
in the non-combative, cross-gender competition!
Speaking of cross-gender, if anyone saw the lovely wedding of Azraelia to Riian, it will not soon
be forgotten. The gorgeous bride wore a gown of Alencon lace which shimmered, adorned with
Venetian glass beads and cut dangerously low in front. (But somehow not inappropriate for the
occasion - that is a miracle in itself!) The charming Ellenodale, formerly beloved of Trianglmn,
was maid of honor. The ceremony, along the beach was unique in the annals of Rhydin.
In closing, let me mention that Gavillean has been scarce, though Luthien has not.
Hmmm....trouble in paradise? Rumors have it that Gavillean is up to his old tricks as flirt
extraordinaire. Hey! I just report the rumors, I don't make them up! Please don't send hate
mail...and speaking of dislike, I gather Siera Red and LyloMarvin are definitely on the outs now.
She turned down the suit of OggdaTroll and claims she is madly in love with someone else.
Fickleness rules in Rhydin.
See you around the dueling halls, y'all!
* * *
page 11
Tired of climbing up your chimney and emerging covered in soot?
Tired of going for a romantic slide down your chimney with your sweetheart and tasting sooty
lips at the bottom? (Or maybe on the way down if you're an expert.)
Then give me a call at 1-800-CHIMNEY. Our operators are standing by (mainly me, and I'm
not fully operational), waiting to hear your pleas for help and come rushing to the rescue. And
we're cheap! In fact, we usually forget to collect payment...
So be the first in your neighborhood to have a clean chimney. That neighbor may always beat
you in the yearly Xmas lawn decorations contest, but you'll be damned if his chimney's cleaner!
Remember, 1-800-CHIMNEY. Call now. Or later, just call!
(Paid for by a grubby old man that just wanted to be left alone.)
(In case there's any confusion... the preceding was from everyone's favorite chimney sweep,
Falire)
* * *
page 12
Baphelocutis's Scepter of Baphelocutis (Now say it three times fast)
The following is the latest in the exciting and oh-so-informative series of articles featuring various
duelers and their weapons. If you would like to see the story of your blade (broomstick, dagger,
submachine gun, etc) appear here, please get in touch with Simini x via email...
How often have you been sitting in DoS, serenely watching the duels, when an imposing 12' 8"
draconian enters? Usually, there are a round of waves and "Hi, Baphs, as he settles himself into
his official "Anti-Overlord" couch.
And when he duels, how many of us see the "SoB" he duels with, and wonder, "What exactly
*is* that thing?"
I ventured out to Dracuhold to ask him myself. I've been friends with Baphelocutis for quite
some time, and was somewhat familiar with the place, having been there before. Imagine my
surprise when he grabbed me around the waist and flew me through the window of a high tower!
Catching my breath, I looked about the room he had brought me to, realizing instantly that it
was the draconian's private study, and the balcony he had set me on housed the only door to the
room.
Looking about, I saw the Sceptre of Baphelocutis hanging on the wall in a specially-built cradle.
Below that was a scrying weapon, that Baph told me was "Golden Dragon's Tear". About the
room were desks and elegant furnishings, most scattered with artifacts, research materials and
numerous maps of the eight worlds of his Empire. The room seemed huge and somewhat
intimidating... bookshelves so high that only the draconian himself can reach the shelves without a
ladder.
I settled myself into a chair, took out my writing stuff, and settled back to let the Emperor
begin. I made myself quite comfortable, grinning, mindful of Baph's reputation for... verbosity.
"Long ago when I was but a young adventurer amongst my friends on a journey through the
levels of some unnamed bizarre temple, I was affected by a powerful magic... one that made me
change my ways. For some reason I could no longer use my high level powerful ways of Arcane
or Divine magics, or my warrior way of the woodlands fighter. After much meditation with my
deity, Ixiom, immortal hierarch of the Sphere of Energy, I discovered that I had become a monk,
and must follow the teachings and ways of the monastery till I reached a certain level of mastery
before I could call upon my former powers once again.
"Being an Emperor, and a companion to a group of powerful adventurers, I was perplexed at
how I would fit into everything in terms of events. Though I had unique draconic abilities that my
fellows did not, they were of little consequence in confrontations with beings of other worlds and
planes. So I had come to a thought that I needed a weapon that was within my guidelines of my
new ways. Hence the Sceptre of Baphelocutis came about.
"The design of it is mainly of my own creativity, the magics involved and various components
outlayed by my own high mage and priest, Marilanna, and the means to gather these components
were set down by my deity Ixiom. In short, I had to fight a Adamantine dragon of great size and
advanced age for the main component of the physical material of the SoB.
"I found myself also in combat with a Balor, Ice Devil, Molydeus, a couple of high wizards, and
a few other small insignificant battles to attain various magic items. From the greater outer planar
beings, I got their weapons to sacrifice their magics to become the magics of the SoB.
"The orb in the center of the staff is a Golden Dragon's tear that my mother Ramothean honored
me with. Within it lay the hearts of Red, Silver, Cloud, and Steel dragons, giving it unique breath
weapon capabilities. All these battles I fought on my own, weaponless.
"Once the components were gathered over a bit of time, I then went away with Marilanna to my
special private holy place on Dracoern, and assembled the great weapon.
"Julesathor, the Thane of all dwarves in my empire, and a most skilled weaponsmith, armor, and
blacksmith, had forged the adamantine himself into the various parts that I would later assemble.
A few months went by, with Marilanna guiding my energies as my hand put everything together
carefully into the weapon. There were ceremonies and rituals concerning the other weapons'
destruction, the manifesting of combining many opposing energies into a new one.
"Being that I am a Lawful Neutral entity, I must always have a balance within my realm of
existence and usage of the multiverse's energies.
"Finally it was completed. The SoB is technically a 2 handed quad bladed axe/staff spear. The
staff is 10 feet long with the orb in the middle held in place by the gaping jaws of ornately
designed dragon heads. At one end of the staff is a long quad-edged spear point, that takes
another 2 feet of serrated 2" twists.
"At the other end of the staff is a much smaller quad edged spade arrow head, with a hole in the
tip for magical spells to discharge through. Also at that end of the staff is where the four axe
blades protrude from, only curving slightly down before coming up to a long slanted high arc with
the tips almost meeting in the center. It is capable of vorpal and sharpness cuts, and can discharge
a few different draconic-like breath spells. It also gives me certain protection against certain
draconic attacks when I have it in hand, as well as protection against fatal cuts.
"From spear tip to axe tip, it is about 12 feet tall, a mere 8" shorter than myself, and weighs
about 70 pounds in comparison to my 700 pounds. I know of few humans who can even lift it
without falling on it somehow, and fewer still who could try to wield it anyway.
"It is the only weapon I will ever use and can use. My deity Ixiom, my ways, and my abilities
forbid me to raise another type of weapon other then the SoB. There is only one of its kind, and
will remain mine till I am no longer alive, in which case it will go wherever I go on to. It is a
symbol of myself, my empire, and all of my efforts and accomplishments. It has no soul or spirit
within it so to speak, but I can sense the intelligence within it coming together and forming its
own personality... it is becoming self aware over time. I simply call it the Sceptre of
Baphelocutis, as a symbol of my station in life. Perhaps in time it will reveal its own name to me."
* * *
page 14
BOOTS
Hey! Tired of all those low cuts tearing your boots to ribbons? Tired of your fashion statement
becoming a fashion flop after one night's dueling?
Shespeaks has the answer for you.
The Bootery-- serving the Greater RhyDin area
Come down and try on some of Shespeaks' custom designs! You'll swear you were walking on
air.
Photo: <<Two feet stick out from the bottom of the photo, clad in what appears to be long grey
fur... Up the slippers, for that's what they are, are two long ears, touched with tufts of fur at the
ends... Beyond those, are two large eyeballs, that are staring up at the camera... A large mouth on
each slipper, full of sharp teeth, sticks its pinkish tongue out, as the Orc-slippers seem to sneer in
mild disgust>>
Caption: "Shespeaks stole me boots, but I've got these dandy Osric the Orc slippers... Oh, and me
boots are on sale at the Bootery. -BrdwayDan" Another satisfied customer!
The Bootery can be found on the message boards in the folder Red Dragon Innsights under "The
Bootery"
* * *
page 15
DoS Today's Photospread
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duel of Swords Photospread:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Picture: <<Sweat streams down Baphelocts' face as he swings his sword down in a circle parry to
knock Elf Mage's low cut into the floor boards>>
Caption: Baph's outstanding speed is well-known, but not necessarily well-liked, by everyone
who's ever dueled against him.
Picture: <<A very surprised Slayride looks down as his sword sticks into his middle>>
Caption: GreyMax's well-timed stop hit manages to turn his opponent's slash right back at him!
Picture: <<Qn Luthien drives her sword right into the easy target of LordZephyr's stomach, who
winces in pain>>
Caption: LZ's raises his sword up in a mighty high cut, but it opens him up for Luth's swift thrust!
Duel of Magic Photospread:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Picture: <<CloakenGry is surrounded by a cloud of dust as he falls back, while Daegarth stands
across the ring with his arms raised>>
Caption: Cloak learns that mindwhips are too slow to form against mage bolts!
Picture: <<Jademage reels back, holding his head, as Darkwind2 admires his skin-tight armor>>
Caption: Armor is physical... but mindwhips are psionic!
Picture: <<A cut-away shot of Felegast under several tons of boulders, being hit several times by
a richocheting mage bolt>>
Caption: MikeXXVII's meteors crush his opponent's spirit... and his opponent.
Duel of Fashion:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Picture: <<MikeXXVII and Devetaki stand modeling skin-tight metallic armor in the Duel of
Magic room>>
Caption: "... and in our final part of the fashion show, our two lovely models are displaying the
latest in hardware in RhyDIn..."
* * *
page 17
Xenograg's Ascension
On March 10th MadMadMax and Xenograg took to the ring in the overlord challenge.
Everyone assumed Xenograg would win. Everyone was right. In a particularly uninspiring duel,
the two combatants duked it out for eight rounds punctuated by a moment of rudeness on the part
of "Emperor" Baphelocutis. One would think that an Emperor would have more manners than to
disrupt a duel, but there it is. MadMadMax, annoyed by the interruption left the ring momentarily
to punch the beegeebers out of the admittedly large dragon. Largeness aside, the Max did have
very little trouble quieting the draco, and went back to the duel unscathed.
The Moves:
MadMadMax Xenograg
fancy sidestep high cut
thrust fancy circular parry
fancy circular parry low cut
fancy lateral parry fancy lateral parry
high cut thrust
thrust fancy sidestep
low cut slash
fancy lateral parry fancy sidestep
<yawn> Oops... anyway after the duel Max was unavailable for comment. Xeno, usually silent
to the press did have this to say:
DoSEditor: Xeno?
DoSEditor: Any comments for the press?
Xenograg: Oscar, I feel concerned about my status of semi-retirement...
DoSEditor: ::blinks::
Xenograg: Many people will want to duel me, but I don't have as much time as I used to...
DoSEditor: ::then whips out a pen and starts writing quickly::
DoSEditor: Why did you challenge then?
DoSEditor: ::pen poised waiting for the answer::
Xenograg: Good question, Oscar. It was quite on a lark, actually.
DoSEditor: ::blinks:: A lark?
Xenograg: Oscar, please inform everyone that I will accept arranged challenges..
DoSEditor: ::nods::
Xenograg: I cannot accommodate everyone, unfortunately.
Xenograg: Yes, Oscar. I had a free shot without risk, so I took it.
Amaltea: (w) Xeno?
DoSEditor: ::nods again::
Xenograg: The controversial behavior by Max came after.
Xenograg: :: squeezes Amaltea's hand :: (w) I know. I'm coming.
Amaltea: ::smiles:: (w) Overhusband? I have to work.
DoSEditor: Thank you for the interview Overlord.
Xenograg: (w) I'll be waiting in the DoS.
DoSEditor: ::glancing at Amaltea once::
Xenograg: Thank you for waiting, Oscar.
Amaltea: ::glances at Oscar::
DoSEditor: I am sorry for taking his time, ma'am.
DoSEditor: ::pockets the pen::
Amaltea: It's ok, Oscar. ::smiles::
Xenograg: Goodnight, everyone! Take care. :)
Amaltea: ::kisses Xeno:: (w) I have to go change.
Xenograg: :: heads for the door with Amaltea ::
Well that was pretty clear, eh?
Well after the event, Max had this to say:
"Um reely surry t' awl th' peeple tha' I dissuhpoynt'd cuz I ayn' th' freekin' Ovvuhlo'd no mouh.
Bu' I wannuh say thankz t' evveybuddy fer awl th' fu'. An' I a'so wannuh say, tha' theyuh ayn'
evvuh gunnuh be annuthuh freekin' Ovvuhlo'd lyke me. Yer gunnuh myss me whe' um gone.
Heheh."
And as much as I loathe to do it, as I think Max's accent is perfectly understandable, here is that
in plain speak, "I'm really sorry to all the people that I disappointed because I ain't the freeking
Overlord no more. But I want to say thanks to everybody for all the fun. And I also want to say
that there ain't ever going to be another freeking Overlord like me. You're going to miss me when
I'm gone. Heh heh."
In related news, Baron Kalamere, citing that he was not able to declare himself loyal to a dueler
he's never dueled before, has declared himself Renegade and has challenged Xenograg for the
Overlordship. Baron Halo expressed her desire to step in for Xeno, stating that Kalamere was
mocking the Overlord and that he was unworthy, but Xenograg has declared his intention of
dueling the man without intervention. This editor would like to applaud Baron Kalamere for
showing guts in not accepting the mighty Darelir name as reason enough to fall on his knees and
worship, unlike so many others of the dueling community. Such blind faith in the abilities of one
dueler and his reputation seems to me only food for pomposity.
That Xenograg has stated that he admires Kalamere's reasoning, and will be dueling on his own
shows that he at least has not been jaded by his reputation. It is a shame that others in the
basement cannot follow their own idol's example in that respect.
* * *
page 19
LATE BREAKING NEWS
Well gentle duelists the rules have been changed again. As always, I believe the move was made
in good faith and with the best intentions. What changed? In the Warlord ranks there are no
more ranks. The Warlords are now arranged by their wins over loss ratio as is a more fair and
equitable arrangement and also a better gauge of how things really look in the basement. You will
note that the inestimably humble Bishop now tops the list followed by Fantasy RC, Gray Max and
a surprise... Falire. Yes Falire, who is always talking about his rapid decline back into
Commonerhood. The standings are now a much better indicator of the "best" fighters. Those
who win... and win often. If Siera Red were in the general ranks she would fall right in there at
the top as well.
And so all of the Warlords are created equal again.
Also in order to challenge a Baron, a Warlord must have 10 peer wins. That means wins against
other warlords or Barons or the Overlord folks. To challenge the Overlord a warlord must have
15 peer wins. Wow! Get moving!
Other changes: A Renegade Baron may now challenge a "Test of Worthiness" challenge, which
if that means what I think, in the last Overlord match, when Siera Red stepped forth to Challenge
Xenograg, one of the Renegades such as Grimjk could have stepped forward Challenging that
challenge. Then Red and Grimjk would have fought. Had Red been successful, Xeno would have
to fight her. Had Grimjk been successful, Xeno would have went on to fight the Overlord
MadMadMax, skipping the test of fighting Red. At least that's how it appears. Gloin, correct me
if I'm wrong please.
Other news: Baron Lord Zephyr has been challenged by The Dark Elf, Feadur who had his list
of peer wins all ready and waiting.
Baron Ulath DarkAxe successfully defended his Baronial rank against challenger Juan Sanchez
Villa-Lobos Ramirez in a nine round bloodfest. As you can see JSV was on his way to a very
good comeback in the later rounds. A very good duel.
Here are the rounds:
JSV Dark Axe
high cut duck*
lat. parry* low cut
sidestep* thrust
high cut low cut
lat. parry* slash
stop hit stop hit
sidestep* thrust
low cut stop hit
thrust lat. parry*
*fancy
* * *
To contact the staff:
Oscar Madison - email DoSEditor
Hedda Hat - email HeddaHat
Broadway Dan - email BrdwayDan
Simini - email Simini x
Dr. Stupid - email DrStupidMD
For info about DoF write to either JakeThrash Orc-extraordinaire or DoSEditor.
General letters and comments or new ideas should be sent to DoSEditor.
Happy dueling :)
* * *
Disclaimer:
DoS Today is an independently produced magazine in no way affiliated with the official DOS
game, the Free Form Gaming Forum, or AOL. The information herein should not be considered
the views of AOL or its staff.
Thank you.
First | Prev | Next | Last