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DoS: Madness
Too Blue: Madness Edition--Round 4
by Jewell Ravenlock
April 13, 2017

Too Blue: Madness Edition--Round 4 [Transcript from Too Blue: Madness Edition (Round 4) 13.04.2017 10:00]

Sapphire: What up, RhyDin? Jewell and I maaaaaay have been day drinking--

Jewell: Morning! Morning drinking.

Sapphire: Right. That. We may have been doing that. In fact, we may still be doing that and it may have started last night and we just never stopped...

Jewell: But we're still here to give you our predictions for Madness 2017! [honking horn sound effect]

Sapphire: Yeah we are! Take that! [seagull sound effect] [laughing] What the hell was that?

Jewell: I don't know! Hey, someone should bring us pizza. Who wants to bring us pizza? First delivery guy to get here with a pizza gets a kiss.

Sapphire: Yeah! From each of us!

Jewell: SCORE!

Sapphire: Such a good plan. I want mushroom on my half. And The Empress Overlady wants meat all over her side because that's how she likes it. ["oooooh yeaaaaaah" sound clip]

Jewell: Hell yes I do! [laughing]

Sapphire: Okay! So the Madness tournament, right?

Jewell: Yeeeeep. That's what we're supposed to talk about. I guess.

Sapphire: I guess we might as well while we're waiting for our pizza. Apparently, we're down to the Exceptional Eight now. Hey Jewell, what's that smell?

Jewell: I think that's your nasty morning breath. Did you not brush your teeth?

Sapphire: Wow. Thanks. Way to scare away potential dates. Jerk. And I did brush my teeth, by the way.

Jewell: [Laughs] Sorry but I don't think chasing a Badsider with a tequila shot counts us brushing your teeth.

Sapphire: Close enough!

Jewell: Anyway, I think that's actually the sweet smell of brackets burning!

Sapphire: That's better! And more accurate. We're down to the final eight my friends, and the brackets are indeed burning. Let's discuss these matches.

Jewell: First up, for the Ramirez Division finals, we have Xanth Van Bokkelen, number four seed, versus Crunchem at number six.

Sapphire: If you people missed the fight between The Overlady here, seeded at number one, and Mr. Xanth last week, you missed an awesome show. Jewell was down 0-3 and brought it up to a tie.

Jewell: It was a fabulous duel. And bloody. Thanks Xanth!

Sapphire: Unfortunately, Crunchem did even better against our Randy Rand. Knocked him around big time. We think he's likely to do the same to Xanth this week and emerge as Ramirez Division Champion.

Jewell: [ding ding ding sound effect] End of the line for you, Xanth! Moving on to the Monk Division, we have another number four seed, Rakeesh, fighting another number six seed, Baph.

Sapphire: This was another duel you did not want to miss last week. I think I was there for this. Was I there?

Jewell: You were there drinking all my beer in the Overlord box.

Sapphire: Right! Good times. Rachael, seeded at number one, was fighting Rakeesh at about the same time as the Overlady was fighting Xanth. It was another really close fight, but Rakeesh edged by with the win in the end.

Jewell: And Baph beat God Simon! He must have like... god slaying abilities.

Sapphire: Doesn't everyone in RhyDin?

Jewell: Good point. It sure seems that way sometimes.

Sapphire: I think Rakeesh is likely to take this next match and the crowds agree. He's got the most bettor confidence going forward amongst the final eight fighters here.

Jewell: Sounds good. Rakeesh, we'll agree with the general public and give this one to you!

Sapphire: Which brings us to our next division: Valmion! Here we have our only surviving number one seed, Ellisa Morgan, fighting yet another number six seed, Kheldar!

Jewell: What's with these number six seeds this year?

Sapphire: Good question. It's probably some conspiracy on behalf of the committee who does the seeding. Ellisa is clearly still in this because I predicted she would win last week.

Jewell: Clearly that's the case. Are you predicting another win for her this week?

Sapphire: In fact I am! Remember me fondly when you win all of Madness again, Ellisa! I'll take a shout out during your victory dance as a thank you.

Jewell: I'll take another ale.

Sapphire: Here. [sound of a bottle opening]

Jewell: Thanks!

Sapphire: Cheers! [glass clinking]

Jewell: Mmm that's good. Hey, I just noticed this: three of the number one seeds were female this year.

Sapphire: Huh. I did not notice that. Way to go, Madness! Maybe you aren't as sexist as we originally thought.

Jewell: Yeah, good job! Actually... no. Good job to the awesome ladies who earned those number one seeds.

Sapphire: Like you?

Jewell: Yep! Even though Rachael and I got knocked out early, Ellisa is going to charge ahead and win this thing.

Sapphire: Go forth and conquer Ellisa!

Jewell: Okay, final division finals: Max Division!

Sapphire: Here we're going to see Myria Graz, number five seed, facing off against Six, who is ranked at number three.

Jewell: Myria knocked out Sapphire's boyfriend--

Sapphire: Staaaaaaahp

Jewell: --E Smith last week to secure her spot in the Existential Eight.

Sapphire: While Six beat Gren Blockman to secure his spot in the Exciting Eight. My money is on Six for this one.

Jewell: I know we keep predicting Myria to lose and then she like... doesn't, but I'm going to do it again now and say that I also thinks Six has this one too.

Sapphire: Make us some snow cones when you win, Six!

Jewell: Mmm I want a cherry flavored one.

[knocking sound]

Sapphire: Hey, someone brought us pizza!

[door opening]

Jewell: And he's not bad looking.

Sapphire: We gotta go! See you next week, RhyDin.

Jewell: And don't forget to come cheer me on at the Overlord challenge tonight with Sabine! It's going to be a bloody, fantastic mess!

Sapphire: And don't forget to vote for the May Queen! Jewell here has a chance to be both May Queen AND Overlady if she doesn't epic fail tonight.

Jewell: Thanks for the vote of confidence. Mmmm this pizza smells amazing.

Sapphire: So does this guy. Say hi guy.

Pizza Delivery Guy: Uh... hi? Do I get my kiss now?

Sapphire: You do when Jewell is done devouring that slice of pizza. Easy on the sausage Jewell! [laughing] Later RhyDin! We'll see you for the Frenetic Four next time!

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